A story: It had always been him.


It had always been him.
The first time they met, she didn’t like him; They were working in the same place and the impression she had of him was of an arrogant and annoying young man, maybe it was that weird light in his eyes. And the way he would do his hair, she absolutely couldn’t stand it.
But then it suddenly happened and out of nowhere they started speaking to each other. And they decided to go out together for a walk.

And they strolled through Hyde Park, a cold evening of November, just after work. And what at the beginning was an awkward conversation commenting coworkers and the job, suddenly became more comfortable and interesting.
The second time they went out, it was completely improved. She looked up to him, admiring his voice, his deep black eyes and the contrast they would made with his extremely white skin.
It was strange how pale he was, considering where he was from. But she didn’t care at all, she would find him even more attractive knowing he was able to speak fluently three completely different languages.
He was smart, interesting, exotic. He was different.
They were both two players who met each other and spotted each other’s ways. They understood the other’s way of thinking, and even if she was slightly more naive than him, she quickly catched up with his game.
The second time they went out, they were walking in some residential road, somewhere down in Kensington. He kissed her. She liked him so much.
But she was not supposed to stay in London for much and she knew that the moment when she would have left the city was coming quicker than what she would ever want. She loved her work place, she loved her house, her life, she loved London more than anything.
And then she found him.
She decided she wouldn’t fall for him and she wanted to keep a distance from the pain that an emotional bound would inflict her, therefore she decided he would have become only someone to enjoy “for fun”.
The first time he arrived to her apartment, she lost her words. She had never experienced something similar, yet, it was everything she ever imagined to receive from a man. Damn, she thought; He knows what he’s doing.
He was a mystery, he would hide a lot about him, and she was pulled in by his manners. He was different from any man she ever met, he had something incredibly charming and attractive.
The first time she knew she was getting in trouble they were sitting next to each other on a bus, about to leave Shepherd’s Bush to come back to Little Venice. She gently and very carefully placed her head on his shoulder, weighting attentively his reactions.
His scent, damn. That strong and so good perfume he would leave on her pillow every time he would leave her house. He would never remain to sleep next to her, his mom apparently taught him to “always go back home”. She always thought it was weird.
One day he asked her if she was the kind of girl who would easily fall in love; She didn’t really know what to answer, she knew it was a tricky question and he was testing her. She decided to try to look strong and put together and answered negatively. Then she asked the same question to him. And that’s when they both understood that something was going way deeper than the “just for fun” limits she thought they had.
“If it’s you, yes.”
The evening before she had to leave, they were together. And it hurt like hell.
He liked her a lot, but he was scared as hell of any kind of relationships and pain. He loved his freedom, but he started to like her too much. He was possessive and jealous, she was proud and independent. He understood that and he never tried to actually show his jealousy for her.
She left, the day after, with pain in her heart. As soon as the airplane engine’s was on, she cried.
She was leaving her biggest love, her city; and him… the charming, exotic man who made her feel so much for the first time.
They tried to continue their growing passion at a distance, promising him she would come back in a year and a half from then. But damn, it was a lot of time to think about.
They met, a month after she left the City, she came back for six days during a little holiday she had.
That’s when every single problem started. That’s when they said for the first time to each other their serious feelings were mutual. And everything changed.
They spent together the most amazing six days ever, loving each other at every occasion, in any moment of the day, taking care of the other one as if they were married. She’d cook for him, He’d cook for her. They slept together for the first time, as she was staying at his place for the entire time.
He was loving and caring and sweet. She was falling for him every minute they would spend together.
She left, again.
And a week after, he said to her that he wouldn’t want to speak to her anymore; maybe it was better if they’d wait for her to officially come back.
Her heart broke in five hundred little pieces and for many months the last message she’d see in that archived chat on her phone would be “See you one day”.
Months later, he wrote to her about something she’d forgotten at his place back when she had visited him. And she randomly answered saying it was nothing belonging to her.
He wrote her “I miss you”.
She started shaking.
The real problem was that even if she had met and tried to like some other guys in those months apart, she couldn’t. She would find herself crying in front of others, because the eyes she was looking at weren’t his. She thought about him every single day. The more people she would meet, the more She would fall for him. She missed everything about him.
His scent, his black hair and eyes, his pale skin, his accent and the way he’d laugh. She missed his touch, his kisses, his words.
Sometimes she had hallucinations about him. Someone who would look like him maybe had passed next to her and for a short, never-ending moment, her breath would stop. Was it him? Sometimes it was a similar haircut, sometimes it was the scent, the way of walking, the style, the laugh.
She was able to see him everywhere.
And then, tired of the place she was stuck in for too long, one day she decided to come back. Unexpectedly.
She wrote to him asking whether he would have been in London during the week she had decided to go back. And he said yes. And that’s when she booked.
It was raining, the day she arrived in London. It was full summer and she was happy as never before, even if she didn’t have an umbrella and she had a newspaper to cover her head.
She left her stuff at the hotel and ran to the first shop to buy an umbrella, then she sent him a picture of Edgware Road and a red bus.
Are you here? He asked and she was happy to answer yes.
Where do you wanna meet? Was the second message she received.
In her head, she had imagined three hundred times the moment they would have met each other, but nothing that happened turned out as predicted;
She saw him next to her and she hugged him so strong she couldn’t breathe. His scent pervaded her nostrils like it did so many times before.
She could not stop looking at him. Was he even real? How many months did she even dream about that moment.
He was there, handsome as he had always been, all dressed in black as always and with that light in his eyes she remembered.
They’d walk glued to each other, with their feelings so strong she couldn’t even see where they were going; They entered a Starbucks and they sat there for a while, him with his typical double espresso and her with the usual cappuccino.
They were speechless, and words were not even needed.
As it is imaginable, they soon were In her room, and she remembered again why, no one else could ever make her forget about him.
That was love, that was everything, that was…
Well, it was him.
It had always been him.

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